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Atman EP

by Sleeping Cranes

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1.
The ice is shaved like bed sheets over our garden that you let die My brain's sore from the cigarettes as I search for a savior in the Western sky I can hear the tape deck straining over the squealing in my lungs As I forfeit our time that we never found and let the levity of longing come I'm dissecting my insides in hopes to pin this fleeting happiness But it's like grinding teeth against still green stonefruit in the end The front lawn's filled with filters, there's trains in the backyard There's cold tea in the kettle, I can see the snow caps from where we are The devil's trumpet's dissonant, but it's spewing past my teeth I bartered out my plans and hopes for the shallow comfort of stagnant feet Regret doesn't throttle my ribs, or the hollow in my chest 'Cause I consolidated all its necessary equipment, took its voicebox and split I set fire to our dead garden, and paved over the flower bed So the compost can't start shifting and lecture me with its progress The malleable future's waiting behind the door I've locked 'Cause if my fingers never graze its face, it can always be just what I want And I've been clean for a couple of weeks now, I think I did my time Another hit and she'll be out of my mind.
2.
You swear the gears in your brain have grown rusty From turning over prairies and May snow The stumbling bluffs steal the passion from your paint And you're marching in step with a destiny you don't own So you'll cake your shoes with brick dust And orphan these blistering plains For a series of strangers and skylines To swell and grey your white, vaporous brain Your window whispers the drone Of the cold city's chaos outside And your gypsy bones spill their marrow In swarms of acrylic relief And you sprawl the length of your mattress With no ties to kiss your face at night But will you still believe in this freedom Once the good feeling dies?
3.
Staring through night to your eyelids Bathed the white moon's morose Both swearing that we were content with The ending we couldn't compose Your touch couldn't combat the imminent And my fumbling words were just mist In the face of such distance I believed that I would just forget But I still see your ghost on the pavement Slithering the streets with the snow And each moment we stood in that streetlight Swells out of any string's steady bow I thought the misery that tied us together Would starve in its romanticized youth But I'm not sure I'll ever love anyone The way I never loved you I'd still sell my soul for a new map To draw me from these catacombs To destroy this splint I've been nursing And carve me a path to my home But that house still erodes gently Underneath each day's oppressing weight And I know that I traffic alone now In this glorified interstate break These blueprints I'd drafted for new states Emerged a cold, splintered mess I dragged the snow and dead streets to the courthouse But the bastards refused to confess Bestowing upon my reflection A myriad of free cold readings Sitting motionless atop my Windmill cartoon feet The days have carved lines in my cheekbones Pushing my face past its age Souring the South for a sweat lodge Still hoping someday I'll be saved Two wolves are at odds in the parlor Their noses at the backs of my knees My indifference, my self-love Just depends on the one that I feed My capillaries sprawl with congestion From chemicals and warm nicotine And when the weed is all out of forgiveness I'll be baptized in the winding creek They'll peel my head out from the black banks The mortar will rot from my doors I'll unearth grace without mandate And I'll shackle myself nevermore.
4.
the frost is chasing all the swallows from the branches of the citrus trees and the sun is shaking itself loose from the cattail threads and winter wheat, colonizing the snow inside the lonely orchard aisles and coughing gravel streets while my citrus grove laments the wyoming soil beneath its feet the rocks and the lizards are all speaking in a language with which my ears can't seem to move just because i've got nothing left to prove doesn't mean i've got nothing left to do patterns are pasted on the walls and stack ten high inside our rugaed brains though their architecture constructs no truth that i can humbly claim they mold most elegant pots and jars and bowls out of the finest clay where i can bootleg excuses from all the fast fermenting blame i've excused myself from my reflection and any consequence for this body i abuse but just because i've got nothing left to prove does't mean i've got nothing left to do the setting sun surrounds me like a softly swelling symphony the stars are shedding their black robes, naked punctuation amongst infinity the've got no fevered dreams to sweat or destination to dictate their shape all paths will lead me nowhere and there's no purpose to glorify my moves but just because i've got nothing left to prove doesn't mean i've got nothing left to do.
5.
Ceques 07:44
The leaves, they fell off green into the September snow Some faith in a midnight highway to carry me back home When my feet touched the city, I meandered about like a ghost Alive in my own memories, connected and completely alone With our skeletons stretched out across the tile And your head resting on the cadence in my chest Knowing goddamn well another hour Won't help me miss you any less Cursing at my compass on a magnet's head An all night drive to detox in the empty Southwest There's horses on the hillside, a creek between my toes Thinking the interstates can outrun all the things I don't care to admit to know Some blotter and a New Mexico hotel room To pan all of the piss out of my brain But all the time I spent pointing my finger Built me a mirrorless tomb where it all feels okay My fingers grazed the ceques that stretched out across your palm I tried to memorize your face so when the afterimage faded, you wouldn't be all gone Autumn stole the legs Out from under the shelter we'd made We watched our landscape rearrange In a separate state Letting your echo resonate And smother the thoughts I can't face today Looking forward to the next goodbye that I can give you Next to your letter and a telephone I wish you'd love me forever But I hope you don't.

about

All songs written by A.J. Ward
Produced by Greg Mikels and A.J. Ward
Mixed and mastered by Greg Mikels at Ishgnu Studios in Springfield, IL
Artwork by Molly Bramley

credits

released August 10, 2010

A.J. Ward (vocals, acoustic guitar)
Leon Johnson (bass guitar, violin)
Kyle Cottingham (percussion)
Conor O'Brien (organ, French horn)

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Sleeping Cranes St. Louis, Missouri

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